Writings From a Young Soul Read online

  Part of me will never mend

  Until that day

  I cry

  2011/2012

  Background: I got Casey as a puppy in Waterloo, Iowa in 1999. From six weeks to 14 years, he has been with me almost every day. I have been there for him during his sickness and his surgeries. This is written in future tense...for the day that we part company. That day will be, well, it will be hell for me. Why write this now and include it? There was a time I thought Casey would not make it to thirteen. So I wrote this down just in case my fears came to be. A few months later as I update this, my pup has continually shown signs of wanting to be here with me. We're a team and always will be. Casey's strength and determination through pain and weakness shows me yet again that a determined soul accomplishes much.

  It's Six o'clock somewhere

  They grew up and loved long

  Passages of time flew underneath

  For those two who cared so much

  One and the other were same

  After a filling and fun dinner

  They strolled down by the creek

  That divided the farm

  Familiar and deepening their admiration

  Cool was water to feet

  As he stumbled to a knee

  Grasping chest to find breath

  She knew it was the end of 40 years

  It was six o'clock that night

  Every year on that day

  Shoes came off as she relished

  Cleansing water on tired feet

  At six o'clock

  To say goodbye and relive the good

  Future had other plans

  She could not make her date

  Early in morning

  She went down to that stream

  Barefoot and weeping

  Dipping up to her knees

  She said out loud

  "It's six o'clock somewhere"

  September 17, 2012

  Background: A friend of mine had an idea to write on this line, "It's six o'clock somewhere." I thought about it for a little while and formed a vision. It took me about 15 minutes to write this. There is loss, and depending on how you interpret it, one can read some happiness there as well. One of the few completely fictitious ones I have ever written. I like the simplicity of this one as well as the deeper tones.

  Quicksand Graveyard

  Heavy burdens ruined by thistle

  Thorns and doubt

  My way home clouded

  By illusions played in minds of

  Those true and strong

  Weeping can only secure

  Water on the fingers

  Bitter and salty only part

  Of why I do not understand

  Why pails do not spill over

  Hide from all

  Step on none

  Lift chin to see

  How eyes bleed for you

  As shore becomes distant

  Set rigger and sails

  You'll be over the horizon

  Before me as naked spirit

  I amaze easily in your glory

  Of all now part of me

  Raise palms to feel light unseen

  Wind fills sails of your desires

  Mistrust not found

  Aches of horrible agony

  Lifted and bettered by you

  Syllables cannot will not explain

  Most foreign to you

  To me and all

  No pen will strike the sentence to

  Show you chasms of love

  For you

  Bergs of ice melt rapidly

  My tiny room can hold monstrous

  Notions of hate hurt anxiety

  This house and roof saves many from

  Times they cannot or will not face

  Graves of emptiness now

  Filled with quicksand I promised

  Never to cast again

  Shallow… not so deep that one

  Cannot escape

  October 6, 2012

  Background: Several inspirations mixed into this one. This is hard to explain; so let me know what you think. This may be one of my favorites too. It's difficult to pick my favorites as I just write and let it happen. Relating to some more than others seems to be typical for myself and others. If I were to literally interpret each line of these writings, this book would be huge. I write to invoke thought in others as well as myself. I write with thoughts and emotions, but it is up to the reader to determine meanings; relating to my words in your own way.

  Don't let today be Goodbye

  Innocent day presented

  Going about your way

  Smiles as always in my thoughts

  Waking up to reality when it hits

  Simple task at hand

  Being ready to go on

  Out and about to tend

  Then it struck

  And the world changed for many

  Long nights by your side

  First not smiling not responding

  Time brought you back to us

  In some fashion to unfold

  Memories and love

  Some bad times

  Instantly dissolve

  To this very moment when

  Perhaps my daddy moves on

  Never comes back

  Strike sword and pike through

  Hit bone and marrow

  As that would be less painful

  Than today

  Don't let today be goodbye

  As there is much more to share

  To laugh about

  To feel hugs of everlasting

  Love

  Not prepared and never was

  For shining skies

  To not touch our being

  Together and yet alone

  My shouts to Heaven are

  For tonight and until

  You return to me

  To us

  Family that has always

  Shown you the way home

  Just one more day

  Don't let today be goodbye

  October 11, 2012

  Background: Life can change in an instant, and can shake the deepest of foundations. So many have lost parents and one close call that a friend recently experienced brought this on. This was written for a few people I know who have lost their fathers and at the same time, can be for mothers as well. You are stronger than you think. Weights of sorrow will lift one day. The sun, once dark and shy, will again comfort.

  The Scare

  As any other day

  Normality was abound

  Breakfast and slumber

  Then you tried to walk

  Stumbling with no balance

  My plead to lie down

  To figure it all out

  Unheeded as you struggled

  Outside as you begged to be

  I took you in my arms

  You and only you in my

  Focus at that moment

  Falling about you finally

  Gave up to the point

  Where I thought you may

  Be taken away from me

  Our trip to seek help

  Passing others as standing still

  As you lie down confused

  My buddy won't leave me today

  I swore it was not time

  Not today

  Just more time

  Is all I asked

  Tests and call later on provide

  Comfort to your turmoil

  A night you will stay

  But tomorrow you'll be home

  You're strong and will rebound

  For now I wait idle hands pacing

  In my mind of what is to be

  Tomorrow only holds promise

  And I ache to feel your touch

  Warmth of your being

  Again

  Our days limited and hope

  You've found love a puppy

  Always dreams of

  My words not understood

  As you gaze into my eyes

  Hurt may not fade<
br />
  As fast as it should

  When you leave me the final time

  How simple to some

  Ignore and know one day

  You'll be at my side again

  A simple dog

  You are not

  Some understand while many do not

  Or refuse to

  Emotion for a beloved friend

  Barely begins to express

  Just how much you are loved

  Give me one more day

  More if you can

  I will know when it is your time

  To move on

  October 19, 2012

  Background: Vestibular Syndrome is a scary condition to witness in a pet. When Casey had that afflict him, I may have over reacted and wrote this. It is hard not to, since he's been a part of my life for so many years. Years from now, I'll look back at this and recall this scare. Keep reading and you'll find one poignant story of why Casey has earned my eternal love and respect.

  The House is Quiet

  A few miles away you slumber

  On a bed not yours

  Imagining how your dreams unfold

  Not to feel the dent as accustomed

  Serious perhaps this wall we climb

  Likely I know little but much

  Little really matters except

  That tonight this house is quiet

  I turn up the music play the game

  Dilute my thoughts down to elements

  Of love, compassion and the wish

  To bring you home again

  This house is too quiet

  No footsteps of you around

  Yeah I miss them

  Flurry and following are missing

  Tonight

  In this quiet house

  October 19, 2012

  Background: Casey had an episode later diagnosed as vestibular syndrome as discussed above. We came in after the morning depository of yesterday's food. He picked a spot to relax and within 30 minutes got up to walk and was so dizzy and stumbling so badly it astonished me. How could a happy, healthy dog decline so quickly? Any nerve condition can do that as I always knew, but did not know that about canines. Since he stayed with the vet that night, it was eerily quiet. I picked him up the next day and helped him during his recovery. This writing, like many, can apply to many situations.

  The Pier

  Crazy steps draw me toward ocean

  Abandoned condemned for reason

  Test foundation where I stand

  No simple remedy why I sit and admire

  Sunset not before me as gulls swarm wood

  Lapping waves weather and storms

  Take toll on this old pier

  When will it give to take me beyond

  How many tears of despair and joy

  These old boards absorbed to keep secrets

  Legs dangling over with roar of waves

  Enlightens being of you and all

  Bleached by loving light from above

  Rebuild is not possible for dreams resurrect

  Castles in sand innocently spoiled

  Though beaten abused uneasy

  This old pier keeps solid footing

  Until one day oceans reclaim it

  October 23, 2012

  Background: This is written in a way to relate to many things and most of which really are not about me. Piers are well footed and designed to survive. They are not permanent though, and will wither away without intervention. When you walk on any pier, just know that others before you have likely shared good and bad times on that same spot. Few steps that we take and fewer views are genuinely unique. It will be interesting to hear feedback on this one.

  Tonight

  Tonight I feel isolated yet part of all

  Long for most not read

  This water I cannot tread

  Behind whispers of the fall

  October 27, 2012

  Background: This was a culmination of being alone, desiring knowledge not gained, and tired of being stagnant, while knowing behind the waterfall is a realm yet to partake.

  Why I Write

  No poet in my head

  Not much of anything

  Days and evenings seem to concur

  Why this is indeed part of me

  Mending and coping

  Not meant to be alone

  As a curtain of dismay closes

  You brush it away

  Fear darkness or light

  Rims bad now taste sweet

  Head up through steam

  Clouds mist vapor

  Label it as you may

  I write not only to share

  One simple life of mine

  Help others vision

  We are alike

  Emotions along the journey

  To freedom

  October 29, 2012

  Background: Pretty evident here. This underlies the subtitle of this book. Once a person consumes the good and bad thoughts, the more I believe a world of light and fulfillment lay ahead. As stated earlier, if not writing, one needs to clear out thoughts whether bad or good to successfully move on. Holding it in is not a good or healthy strategy.

  Recordings in My Head

  Floods yesterday

  Keep presenting

  How things were hopeless

  As this porch swing

  Comforts

  Setting suns on that swing

  Take away bits of hurt

  Each day I allow

  Allowance is shallow

  There is no stop button

  To cease what I record

  Bliss would drench

  Them out of memory so strong

  Tried all read all and still

  Cannot absolve these

  Recordings in my head

  Asleep or awake offer little

  Shelter from these thoughts

  I cannot kill

  Please and beg something

  Understood not

  Unseen

  How these recordings

  In my head

  Erased and muted some day

  October 29, 2012

  Background: The title came from a discussion while the Internet amused me one night. A person said they could not sleep and needed to stop playing the recordings in their head. I know the feeling for sure. This was written shortly after.

  Granite Me

  Those times I feel a fool

  A joker not

  When it comes

  Living in honesty

  Slip my grasp

  Now and again

  From a rather weak post

  On this hill

  I see miles around

  Where much good

  May be done

  To better not me

  But you

  Winds somewhat shattered

  By glaciers of lore

  Have passed

  Disgust they do

  For I am stronger now

  Stronger but not immune

  As it still stings and touches

  Those dark places we know

  And hate to visit

  Loosen the grips on my soul

  Hill is dwarfed by mountains

  Of solid granite before

  Yet I know we can overcome

  Inch at a time

  Clear the view is here

  Feet in mud

  Shake them off

  Better your chances

  Scaling granite burden

  We face within

  October 31, 2012

  Background: As with most of my later writings, this is a combination of many things. Dump the past, which again, I find difficult to shed completely. A granite wall seems nifty, yet it would block off too much. There is too much beauty around to ignore.

  Both Gone

  November not a month

  I remember in a good way

  As my mom slipped

  Away from me

  The beauty of that picture

  I'll always remember
/>   As will your loving

  And warm arms

  Embrace me through the night

  Darkness lingers

  Though I have found love

  Peace and family

  You both watch over me

  In ways not felt and not

  Realized until later

  Both are gone

  You surround me despite

  Not feeling you there

  I know I know

  When Heaven allows

  You are there with me

  To feed guide comfort

  Protect me

  You are both gone

  My little heart now

  Grows bigger and stronger

  As simple time passes

  Not to forget

  But to love

  Appreciate great times

  Love from you will never fade

  I know from here

  Whispers in the rain

  Are from both

  Keep me strong

  Focused on a way to

  Heal for eternity

  You know me

  You know me

  I'll get along fine

  Even though

  You're both gone

  November 5, 2012

  Background: I read a post from a woman who had lost both parents. It struck me and this was written in about 20 minutes. It was well received.

  I Fear

  It never ends

  Scripts the scrolling

  Of that permeated with truth

  Holes in page sides

  Corrupt thoughts of what

  Is missed

  Elementary illusions

  That bliss promises

  Thump and pattern a way

  I don't want to go

  I call out for knowledge

  Task of reading to learn

  Dismayed by others

  Follow the stream and

  Wonder if best path taken

  I fear

  I fear for others

  Not myself

  Stains on soil

  Will be wiped away

  And now I see

  I vividly see

  I fear

  November 9, 2012

  Background: This one started with an image of punched holes in a sheet of paper. When I was a kid, they were prominent; but not so much any longer. The thought of what those holes take away from a sheet of paper is the premise in a way. In this one, it comes down to if we punch out a few holes in our being, well, we aren't complete. I fear many of us, with good intentions, are not our full page. Those little paper punches may hold a few critical and telling segments of us. Take away just a bit from the whole page and there is still something missing.

  Guard Me

  How trickling sounds of water

  Over stone in place

  For all to amaze

  How you could be there

  By me every day

  Years ago you disappeared

  How I knew you those days

  Reflect and absorb good

  And not so much bad

  As a mother you never ceased

  To be there and everywhere

  All at once

  How you did it

  I now learn

  Beyond and exist they do not

  For failing is human

  In my soul and my very

  Pillar of existence

  You're still around

  Passages of bitter time

  Are less and sweeter now

  In my way I reconcile

  Know and love more

  On this day this month

  That year

  No forgetting in my life

  Though you've moved on

  You guard me

  Against all not pure

  You guard me

  November 9, 2012

  Background: A combination of several elements. Reading the pages above, most will have an understanding of this. While pain occupies our past, one should know that those bad times may actually protect us. As long as we learn from times of hurt, we should be able to avoid much strife later on; keeping the past in mind but learning from it.

  Before the Final Breath

  Hold warm black sand

  Crests of water land

  Dreaming sipping life

  No dunes though barren

  Seems odd how contrails above

  Mimic hollow parts

  As they cut leave stains

  Few will prosper

  Collect grains which feed

  Lungs heavy and not mine

  Whisper you shall be heard

  Before the final breath taken

  Only few know

  They really know

  Giving up is not part of me

  Horizons of sun not clouded

  Any longer in this realm

  Helping hands to lift up

  Scratch and scar at first

  Disappear once conceived

  Laughing behind obscurity

  Trees of mine sturdy

  Yet frail at a moment's beckon

  It's what they feed

  Foot taps stir

  Soils trapped in carpet

  Innocent and unseen

  Before the final breath

  There will be healing

  Understanding and peace

  Pulse on veins of trust

  Will be there and guide

  Step around all unclear

  Know and believe

  Have your own faith

  That all will be well

  And accomplished

  Before the final breath

  November 21, 2012

  Background: A synopsis of hundreds of things. Basically saying that before my last breath, I will live out what I never thought could come true. Before my final breath, I will take a ride in a fighter jet somehow. Writing this book was another item; and I actually completed it. This is completely different than the popular social phrase of “bucket list.”

  The Night

  No rushing water

  Silence of still

  Ringing ears is no

  Comparison to reality

  Stumble to comprehend

  How turbidity adds

  To the equation engraved in

  Your head and dreams alone

  Fortune not reality of shame

  Speak what is mine and neglected

  This vantage on a boulder

  Midst of middle not trodden

  Leaves trampled break loose

  To form soil for those

  On earth explored by few

  Not alone on your Northward path

  Tonight is now time

  Streaming beautiful heavens