Writings From a Young Soul Read online

  Part of the night

  I think of you

  The scent of you lingers

  Every time I think of you

  Away from me now

  Closer than ever

  Maybe it's because

  Every time I think of you

  I realize

  Just how much you mean to me

  Every time

  September 1993

  Background: I was thinking of an ex-girlfriend from my high school years. Though the love had faded, there were still only good memories of growing and learning together.

  Random Thoughts

  The fragrance of your hair

  The spark in your eyes

  Delicate complexity of your face

  The sound of your laughter

  Still lingers in the halls

  Every so often

  I feel your touch

  Scary how much

  You still live in my mind

  Winter is always cold

  As long as the memories of you

  Prevail in my life

  Never again seek shelter

  September 1993

  Background: I don't recall specifically what this was about. Perhaps about the girlfriend I had at the time. We've likely had that moment of "this is the one" only to have it shatter before the dawn sun can warm. This was me trying to recall good times. At the same time, those lessons learned have taught me to never seek shelter but walk away from that which cannot be remedied.

  On My Knees

  Those times I feel like giving up

  That the pain is too hard to shut out

  Perhaps this is the final leg of my journey

  When all that seems fair and right today

  Is scratched and gone tomorrow

  Or ponder how I am doing poorly

  When others are doing so well

  Every day the tasks of blocking out

  Forgetting the wrongs in my life

  Take on a new form a new angle

  Some day when I reflect on years gone by

  Those memories will tear down these walls

  So many treasures and tortures in my head

  Amazing the tricks I have mastered

  To only see treasures

  I've not forgotten my tortures

  How the hell to forgive wrongs by me

  When belief in right is so strong

  Recollection of those scars arise emotions

  I swore off years past

  Fooling me is not easy

  Knowing what needs to be done

  True the first step is hardest

  Or so it is said

  The one wish I have to be so bold

  That one wish to me

  Before my time runs out

  Right all my wrongs

  To forgive and be forgiven

  Make one person's dreams come true

  Better the world for my children

  Guarantee when I pass on

  To have those true to me

  Be at my side

  No existence for me

  Without those souls

  Who accompanied me on this incredible

  Ride we call life

  If my creator cannot accept this

  Then I cannot accept my creator

  To find out this to be a muse I would rather not exist

  Many thoughts spawned in my head

  Many not felt before

  Size and complexity of this

  This existence has me buckled

  Where is the better half of my soul

  I pray, pray for discovery so

  I may start recovery

  September 1993

  Background: Until last year, I had not read this since it was written. This is much deeper than the words. While I cannot recall every emotion behind it, it rather shocked me. I don't have nor will I have children of my own. Reading this again after all these years brought me to tears. To some extent, this still holds a place in my life today; not sure why and how deep, but it's still there. I believe this to be my first step towards greater understanding of myself.

  Corner Step

  What are you thinking

  As the glass touches your lips

  Is that a look in your eyes

  I want to see

  Or is chaos leading me on

  Where is the signal

  A sign something to let me know

  Whether what I want is mutual

  No spoken words

  A gesture a handshake a shared laugh

  Good times together is all I want

  To teach you all that is me

  To absorb all that is you

  Rare these days when I find

  Someone who honestly understands

  Me

  With masonry built around

  No wonder trust and respect are

  Found only in books of past

  Millions of souls too scared

  To fix loneliness

  A remedy to be found

  Starts the quest

  The corner step of yesteryear gone

  Shelters him from the moon

  One young soul weeping through the dusk

  He desperately tries to decipher

  All he can't

  His faith is blind

  His hands numb

  And from that corner step

  He scouts the morning

  His head resting on his knees

  Hands cover his ears to silence

  To stifle the pounding that occupies

  His thoughts

  Before dark loses the claim to day

  He wanders the curb

  Knowing no destination

  Maybe another corner and step

  Noise and commotion shifts

  Attention back to her

  Legs crossed a smile parting her lips

  What he'd do to make her dreams so bright so vivid

  Motion pictures of the life he'd give her

  Interrupted as eyes met to gaze inward

  That look again more personal warmer

  Can he trust his heart

  Only a look only a look

  What is to come of this

  How could he let her pass by

  Without a word not a word

  He finds his step to claim

  For the night

  A young lonely soul trying to calm

  The violent storm

  To get along his way

  That corner step where lonely souls go

  Stands where it always has

  Never out of sight

  October 1993

  Background: This one is hard to explain where it came from. The main and solid reference is actually based on a few lines in a song. There is also a jumble of something I saw on television as well as elements of casual observations. I didn't write this with any direction or a specific person in mind. It just happened. I find this to be one of my personal favorites as I still perch on my corner step every now and again to reflect, heal and dream. My dad picked up on this writing as some of these lines remind him of his father.

  Untitled

  Mysteries that hide deep in my mind

  Contain all that I need to know

  All that I've done

  And all that has hurt me

  The power of recall

  Is frightening

  My life cannot go on

  Until these secrets are given up

  By the schemes and games my mind

  Has created

  To protect me

  There is something there

  Something big

  Day by day the memories bubble to

  The surface to be released

  Foul smelling clay-filled puddles to drain

  Perhaps when time is due

  This thing these things will one day

  Become apparent

  They will rise and challenge

  My character that I am

  I welcome the duel

  I will
prevail

  Nervousness has taken me over

  I scare at the sound of a door

  Feeling as if someone were behind me watching

  One day I promise I will know

  I may be dropped and tread upon

  Maybe for some time

  But I must know the deep secrets

  These are my secrets and my mind

  And I command my mind to let these

  Secrets be known

  It is time to live my life

  Throw away the rubbish

  Regain my soul

  Regain control

  Over what is mine

  And what will always be sacred

  For when the time comes

  To share with the world

  What I've gone through

  I will be in control

  And I will tell all

  One day I will share what I've written

  With that special person

  I need to

  For this is who I am

  And who I want to be

  A troubled soul wanting to be free

  Of all the bad

  I know you're out there

  And I'm looking for you

  Until the day we meet

  October 1993

  Background: This was trying to recall happenings that I may have forgotten and to true up some memories. Rather exploring as I wrote this one.

  One Life

  I woke up dreaming you were calling for me

  In the darkness of this house

  The spirit of your laughter

  And the ghost of last night

  Still wanders

  Many of those weeks past, I called for you

  As I lay in my darkened corner

  Not thinking of the world but rather

  Thinking the world of you

  Of how much I miss you need you

  The snake tempted them with the fruits of life

  Who can say that what they did was wrong

  I only know

  What I don't understand

  Visions of the invisible

  Patrol my sanity

  Creating

  Tormenting my insanity

  Until all that can is digested and converted

  Into something less foreign

  That I absorb as truth

  Suffer we may we might we will

  But one life to live

  Let's make the most

  Forgetting the least

  Condemning the past

  With you at my side

  December 1993

  Background: There are a few instances stirred together in this one. It is a combination of temptations and that morality will hopefully prevail in situations. Without morals, a person may wander around forever and never really find home.

  What Do I Have To Do

  Tonight the moon fascinates me

  As I gaze out this tiny room

  A single leaf starts the descent

  Somehow in the dark it all makes sense

  Though erotic are the sensations

  I cannot allow this to grow

  The image the essence of you

  Is with me tonight

  Tomorrow you'll be gone

  And I'm supposed to go on living

  Without you

  When I offer all that I am

  Accept who you are

  And curse who you aren't

  You leave me

  The rain will hide

  What I'm feeling inside

  Until the dark clouds roll away

  Oh God why can't you stay

  December 24, 1993

  Background: This was after the breakup of a trying relationship; the same one that prompted so many earlier writings. I was reflecting on that and future possibilities. The date of the writing is not really significant, but perhaps it is a day that should have been happier.

  Thoughts

  Though the storm is raging

  And the streets are barren

  A city that knows no slumber

  Sleeps

  In my arms and in my dreams

  Cradled perhaps too much are

  Notions of magic and sorcery

  Healing

  Afternoons spent lazily studying

  Verses condemning our sins

  Feeding our passions upon

  Truths yet to be contested

  Realize in this imperfect world

  Answers are a luxury

  And that the unknown should not be feared

  But rather these obscurities deserve all

  That is unique

  To note the positives

  And crush rebellion of malice

  To this a sacred coup

  Has fallen

  To a beaming in the sky

  For tonight

  We shall abide

  February 1994

  Background: After the storm of previous years, a small clearing appeared. This was an attempt to once again dilute those bad memories. Only time proved to be the remedy; not a complete remedy, but writing it down has helped tremendously and continues to do so. Choose your way of digesting the past hurts and if it works, stay with it. Release those inner ghosts and demons in some way that allows you to reach a fulfilling life.

  The Next Step

  A clean hand in a swirling stream

  Tiny pebbles lost to the dream

  As the comet stains the sky

  You never ask yourself why

  Gather 'round

  Does not matter to the heavens

  Or to the commons

  Whether we are to love or be loved

  Too mortal to concede

  What our feelings mean

  To figure out the truth

  Bind we must to the past

  Forecasting the future's last

  Of what may be to cast

  3/9/1994

  Background: Coming out of the gloom and finally seeing shimmering rays of hope. Trying to heal from the maelstrom of the past and again looking forward with confidence. It must have worked to some extent as we enter a large gap of time where I wrote nothing. My spiral notebook was where I had turned to until this time. With computers becoming more a part of my writing, perhaps some of my writings were simply lost.

  Time Gap 1994-2000: Many things happened during these years yet nothing was written. I think that was because my notebook was hidden away in a storage box. I had moved a few times during this period and left many of my belongings in boxes. It was like meeting a friend after years of no contact when I found it again. So many memories and emotions were rediscovered. However, I did find the following tucked away in my desk and can only assume it was written around this time. It was typed, which is rare for me, but I owned a typewriter during this time. I had not read this since written… until I discovered it while working on this book in 2012. I won't edit it at all from the original. In fact, I rarely edit what I write; maybe change a word or two, but most of what you read is unedited or not revised. Why edit these raw thoughts and emotions? Perhaps some could be polished up a bit...but again, some innocence and beauty is lost each time an edit happens.

  Untitled

  If there were to be an answer to this time

  Perhaps the blood smears would not stain

  And the ships sailed before would not survive

  For the castles of mist are not steady here

  Darkness today is not a stranger

  Nor the silence that greets my memory

  Because the sky knows me not

  I tell all souls for what I stand

  Hot rains drown but the tallest and strongest

  As my chest is weighed full of thoughts

  I will not refuse the turmoil

  Surrender shows not a hint

  Along the path carved in rock

  We must all stop to enjoy

  Fields of the richest colors

  Provide shelter from the winds

  In the deepest part of me

 
I cannot part from

  What is me

  All that I am

  Under those metaphors lighted from within

  There is but a glimpse of the beauty

  Of all that remains from what is happening

  But soaring overhead is a sign that all will be right

  Because the roots of the old tree

  Are well grown and strong

  I know we shall survive

  Date unknown

  Background: As stated above, I have little recollection of this and what it was about. Just one of those days I guess.

  What if I Told You

  The sunset looms above tonight

  How much longer can this go unsaid

  What if I told you all that is me

  All that I want

  Would it make the difference

  Or matter not

  For the times that I am shallow

  All those words tend to follow

  What if I told you that you make the rain go away

  That I can see horizons never seen

  They cannot touch what they don't know

  What if I told you

  What if I told you the world seems colder barren

  Without you here

  What if I told you I need you with me

  And what if I told you I love you

  Would you believe it feel it

  What if I told you told you

  I long for you

  Want to be with you

  I want to share it all with you

  Live for you and die for you

  You mean too much to me

  What if I told you

  July 3, 2000

  Background: A completely faithful person may be difficult to find. She (or he) exist; but may be hidden in some of the most unusual places. I wonder if I had just told her what is written above if it would have mattered. Thinking of it all again can bring a single tear; but life has turned out for the better after departing that scenario.

  Time Gap 2000-2012: I moved from Iowa to Tennessee and started a new life, as much as feasibly possible. My new job demanded a lot of time and I took a break from writing. My notebook was hidden away because of the recent move; but I found it a year or so later. So, I shared writings with a few people during this time and received some wonderful comments. I always wanted to collect my writings and put them in order, then share them. The latter part of 2011 through 2013, I posted writings online, and have received many compliments. Those people who commented are numerous and their encouragement is truly appreciated. Thank you for the inspiration.

  You Surround Me

  Up at dawn

  The rays of light

  Dance on my walls

  Though you aren't here

  You surround me

  For all those times

  I never called

  Never showed you how

  To love me

  You surround me

  You surround me when I'm down

  You surround me all night

  You still amaze me

  When you surround me

  For the dusk

  Brings to us

  A time to heal

  To move on

  Beyond and get strong

  For those times

  We didn't talk

  No clue where to go

  For your love

  You surround me

  You surround me when I'm blue

  You surround me when you are gone

  You always amaze me

  When you surround me

  January 9, 2012

  Background: This is a mix of everything and about no one specifically. There is an influence here, though. And it's in a way that is hard to explain. The emotions shared and the occasional glare of what is an unknown, coupled with general thought...this was born. This is another attempt at writing a song, but no idea how to put this to music. The song would be performed in the country music style; as I vaguely hear it in my head.

  Now I See

  Meeting in our sacred place

  Whispers from you leave a trace

  On my very being that makes me

  There must be something better a new way

  Eyes closed but can feel the warmth

  Of your soul and enchanting ways

  That lights my path to real freedom

  And understanding of what we dream

  Now I see changing

  I can see you loved me

  For those cold nights left alone

  You shelter me in your thoughts

  Bitter drafts of forgetfulness

  Never seem to regress

  Despite my cries of anguish

  That screams through the night

  Wander in plantings of evil

  To stumble on coverings of good

  And all that is pure and honest

  Only to face a wall of pain

  Now I see harmony

  My eyes too deaf to hear

  The climb of what to desire

  Is strewn with remnants of love

  Now I see between us

  Moments of distrust dissolve

  Erode and shape in to all that can be

  For not if us who will it be

  Ripples from beams of light

  Shape that you are

  And now I see without the haze

  Your silhouette occupies my mind

  Now I see

  Now I see why

  Now I see purpose and

  Meaning never realized

  Now I see

  July 28, 2012

  Background: It hit me one night. There are specific reasons behind this but it's a combination that makes no logical sense. Once you get to know more about people as individuals and compare their lives with your own life, you can see so much more.

  Cross on My Door

  Two years ago

  You left me for the last time

  The void of my soul and

  My heart yet to mend

  Seek to understand

  How a higher calling

  Of life can tear you away

  From me

  The cross on my door

  Is the final and last

  Tribute I have of you

  A father not perfect but you were mine

  That cross will always

  Remind me of your laugh

  The echo of your songs

  Resonate from that cross on my door

  At night I know you watch over me

  Know that you cared

  One day the heavens will welcome me

  To walk as it was meant to be

  With you at my side

  No pain and no shame

  To walk with you again

  With my Daddy

  The cross on my door

  Will never be taken down

  In silence and chaos

  I know you are with me

  July 28, 2012

  Background: Losing one’s father is not easy and I have not been through that awful experience. Be true to yourself; never give up on who you are and what is important to you. That cross will never come down, and one day I'll pay my respects to this one. As it turns out, I paid my humble respects to that very cross two months later.

  Only I Can See You

  Distance is frightening day after dawn

  Sheets of silk are tangled without you

  Shuffles of feet and imagination lost again

  Those to the exterior likely never understand

  Cannot comprehend nor see what is before me

  Streams of my desire only shallow

  To not be one as you fly to create and discover

  Only I can see you

  Searching the cupboards of finite thoughts

  Reaching for the highest but cannot achieve

  Not a failure lest a reminder striving for more

  Will of many focus thoughts on long gone turmoil

  Only I can see you

  For whom you are and aspir
e to become

  During nights of hidden storms I can feel you

  Feel how blind the others are to beauty

  As the rains pour over me in moments of innocence

  Forces not explored filter to the surface

  No sense in this snapshot of time

  Minutes of reality click steadily to drown out

  My every word never spoken

  Leaves on my deck fallen and broken

  To meet the fate of consumption

  That hideously gnaws at our very existence

  For all that may be and will regenerate I know

  Only I can see you

  While blinded by your perseverance

  Bridges not crossed seem impassible now

  Ignore trusses and posts that face you

  Only I can see you how you're meant to be

  Only I can see

  If only you could see you

  August 1, 2012

  Background: We all know a person who does not realize who they truly are. At times, it takes just one person to convey how others experience us. We have at least one person that sees us like no one else. There is a person or persons that can peer through it all and discover the soul behind the face of each of us. One day, I was walking out of a shipping company and met a woman struggling with a big box. I smiled at her. She avoided eye contact and passed on by. I turned around and asked, "Do you need help?" Her face lit up with a huge smile as she turned to me. She said, "Oh, my gosh; you are so nice to ask, no thanks though!" I think I could see her smile wrapped around to the back of her head as she walked away. Think about it for a minute if you don't fully realize why that story fits here. While the story is simple, the underlying message is much more broad and deep.

  I Hope You Lied

  Scattered around me are thoughts and dreams

  Dashed to rubbish in a single sentence

  One that wounds the strongest of men

  My desire to touch the simple beauty of love

  Now gone and relegated to gray ash that smothers

  Your words sampled the marrow of my being

  Thinking of all that has never been nor will ever be

  Stubs of fingers try to grasp the slick notion of you

  Ah the samples of air point me down deeply

  Towards the cool depths of your caverns of discovery

  Said to me were words of distrust disgust

  Laying blame worthy of a demigod that burns

  Over your left shoulder you glance and spout

  Syllables never meant to be heard

  I hope you lied

  Conquering my missteps of silent agony

  Gleams of sun only disguise what is before me

  Crash to my knees and hope for freedom

  From this pain

  Please be lying to me now

  Stances of your posture lead to enlightenment

  They don't shield your thoughts or hatred from your lips

  Struggle to comprehend all that we cannot mend

  It is permeated into me that we should never be

  I hope you lied

  Piles from trees fallen this season hide your true nature

  One of a sense of being not right and not proper

  Alter the common with threads of contentment

  Around the corner towards truth and peace

  I know you lied

  Visions of your lies are all but true

  I hoped you lied

  August 13, 2012

  Background: This is a mix of every dimension that we may all encounter. Overall, we know words are cast that we regret. Sometimes we want the truth and at times we hope those words spoken to us are lies. Occasionally, I wished that words spoken to me in anger were all lies.

  Know That Road

  Gravel beneath my feet fails to support

  My journey toward a sun which welcomes

  That surrounds my compass of what is mine

  Gazing left and then right not sure which

  Will lead me to graze on fruits of plenty

  Forgive my innocence of real beauty ruined

  Treks over shattered pulp and vines

  To show perhaps all is not well

  Illuminate creatures in rafters of contempt

  Whispers in the roots of cloaked mentality

  Push on to me a blemish of warped pictures

  As we all know we know

  Know that road

  Strive though not welcome

  Circle my linear waves of redemption

  Known is not the road

  Mountain tops study my every grasp

  Hints of mint and coriander

  Fragrance the mists of the shallows

  While clouds of lightning speak their objection

  We need to know that road

  Drop the edgy steel instruments and rhetoric

  Believe if not only for a single and brief moment

  Others do want and need to wander upon a place

  Where we all

  Know that road

  August 13, 2012

  Background: A road we all know but absorb differently, through our own perceptions. We all want to travel down the same road; the road of peace and love. How things can be made pretty if looked at through a prism with multiple facets. Perhaps empathy is this word. I may not agree with everything about a person, but empathizing allows one to understand more. This one seems rather unfinished to me and should likely be redone; but just as others, I will leave it to see if it connects with some.

  Cross the Skies

  Cross the skies to a landing

  Of no disbelief pain or cowardice

  Linger not crumbs of all passed

  Let the stains remain in glass

  Putrid and oiled demons do not dare

  Once the pores of your light are seen

  And shared with masses of care

  They will not cross the sky

  Hunker when needed against foul breezes

  Your ways of being you unfold

  Raise a hand to block which destroys and withers

  Once again find nourishment amongst ruins

  Pebbles of disgust have yet to settle

  Upon the very source from where they fostered

  If it all comes around as it will

  You will cross the skies

  Plains of scalded hill with beauty untold

  Belittle one of their pride

  The heavens above seem to relate

  Never let go of what we are

  Not let innards of virgin beauty lose their point

  Between us all as we

  Cross the skies

  August 13, 2012

  Background: This is tied to "The Cross" in some ways. It is also about erecting a barrier to harmful forces. Block the bad, leaving only the good. Many things and emotions cross our skies. There is a loose church reference as well, regarding the stained glass. The colors of the glass absorb the bad and block negative influences from the outside. Another way to view it is to believe that the glass is colored because it pulls out all the bad, thereby staining the glass. Even if a person does not attend church, you have or should have a zone of safety to purge you of hurt. Where you lay your hat of pain should be surrounded by comfort and true beauty. This background really shows how any of my writings can be interpreted; read it as you feel it.

  Getting Through

  Besides the countless times of never

  While the focus was on others

  Nondescript shades through banter

  Tiny fragment has grown to know all

  Head shakes of dismay and confusion

  Wrapped up in ghostly breaths in a strange glow

  Does it feed or does it breed to grow

  Now you know and struggle to remain

  Thunderous clouds reverberate from the butte

  Some fog remains to cover the simple

  Yet you go about your day to fulfill foreign thoughts

  Company in front of visuals and digitals
r />   Align to meet

  Where we all go

  In depths of darkness

  To find no claim

  I'm starting to get through

  To you

  These poster boards of doubt crumble

  As I'm starting to get through

  To you

  Following what has passed but is not you

  Determine and fight through

  Times will try hardened of understanding

  I'm starting to get through

  To you

  Get through to me

  And I see amazement of you

  Waves splash and it reminds me

  How I got through

  To you

  August 15, 2012

  Background: Despite all that is confusing, we know when we break through to that special person. This started with the root of "I'm starting to get through to you." It was one of those times when a phrase came out of nowhere.

  I Sacrifice

  Look up beyond where Mars meets Venus

  Past trees hills and valley tops

  Stare with no focus on what could be done

  Turbulent clusters of seed find no way home

  Rows of contentment cast in plaster

  Have no place here for willing

  Uttering from shiny discs pay little mind

  Smell of tea tree is abundant

  Here in a dwarfed hut I call home

  Just to embrace you the first time

  Negate what others say

  Weeds of sea and marine hold fathoms

  Expanses not yet on the prairie

  And yet

  I sacrifice

  Nervous tapping of toes

  Some special nod

  The essence of unknown

  Circulates here

  And I know I know

  Repent and repent all day

  Away from you these go

  They will visit and knock on another's door

  I sacrifice

  To float souls of others

  Those broken lost and homeless

  Visit a palace of untarnished wonder

  The eraser of memories

  Impotent here meaningless

  Index those unknown thoughts

  You will realize why

  Why I

  Sacrifice

  August 31, 2012

  Background: Such a mix of what the future holds and what the past has presented to me. Overall, this is a reflection of my foot prints so far. Grasp the tiller and pilot your own future as you see fit; but know that the wake of your actions will ripple and affect others. Your course ahead displaces and likely will push some aside as well as attract others.

  Cold Bold Glory

  Your haste leads too much waste

  Of those around who simply smile

  In darkness passing by

  Fowl nest in empty pots of ceramic

  The cold bold glory you portray

  Is degraded and tainted by hideous

  Mysteries that have not been told

  To this day

  Unlock those deep hurried distrusts

  That defines who you are today

  Release nights of forbidden

  Meetings under sheets of satin

  That you feel defines your being

  Comfort not always around

  As you reach out to learn to grow

  Bite your tongue no longer

  Show cold bold glory

  For us to see and be amazed

  For whom you are

  Those tracks made on the beach

  No longer a trace

  Just a memory faded by time and seas

  Be true and those footsteps never vanish

  So many years a clown with a crow

  Overhead ever circling

  Running away from time lost again

  To be confronted by clear sky above

  No more clowns no more crows cackling

  Your cold bold glory

  Heals and expels hatred so you

  May find balance as your head bobs above water

  Perhaps the last time you struggle to find

  Your own

  Cold bold glory

  September 8, 2012

  Background: The phrase just popped in to my gray matter one night. These are present-day thoughts mixed with the past and future. Cold bold glory can mean different things to people. There are moments that are hurtful, embarrassing and otherwise unwanted which keep appearing in my conscience but are fading quickly. It is also about those who believe they are nothing special or lack any sort of talent. We all have good in us...release all that is you. Be cold to block out bad criticism and thoughts; but be bold to share all that you are, and move forward full of glory.

  The Burden of You

  Months of recognition not true

  Led on by beauty of you

  In my blue eyes it seemed

  All thoughts I imagined in me

  Swarming ideas materialized

  Vaporized and lowly disgust

  Charm and innocent quality

  How hollow those traits cause casualties

  The burden of you I've ridden

  Cast it out to creatures that devour

  Feeding on those who carve control

  Grasps of survival lead you away

  I cannot survive your struggle

  Haunting noon of impeccable duality

  Tunnel towards a mirror image of you

  Never satisfied no harbor of faith

  Mistakes of mine pale to striking

  Differences in opinion

  I adore

  The burden of you

  Is gone

  September 11, 2012

  Background: This is a combination of many thoughts at the time. It hurts when it ends or is masked by anger. No hatred, no animosity any longer. I feel sorrow for those souls and people as heads crash together with goals of domination. Yes, there is a difference between people and souls. This is also about a career change. The burden of all that entails some jobs is just too much on a person who has a different outlook on what is important. This is me letting go of lots of different burdens. Do what makes you happy, fulfills you and others. Recognition and money mean little once a critical, internal discussion is held.

  Casey

  You came home fourteen years ago

  Taught you yes from no

  You made bad things go away

  At times had little to say

  The best of you in my soul

  But for you I would not be whole

  I see you go to dream the last time

  Least I know where you've gone

  Now I realize it's the day you die

  Tears don't dry from these weary eyes

  No I'll not forget you

  Someday we'll see through

  When dark clouds scatter to none

  You by my side

  Smilin' again

  Oh Casey go on

  Without you I won't be so strong

  Till that day we play again