Writings From a Young Soul Page 3
Part of me will never mend
Until that day
I cry
2011/2012
Background: I got Casey as a puppy in Waterloo, Iowa in 1999. From six weeks to 14 years, he has been with me almost every day. I have been there for him during his sickness and his surgeries. This is written in future tense...for the day that we part company. That day will be, well, it will be hell for me. Why write this now and include it? There was a time I thought Casey would not make it to thirteen. So I wrote this down just in case my fears came to be. A few months later as I update this, my pup has continually shown signs of wanting to be here with me. We're a team and always will be. Casey's strength and determination through pain and weakness shows me yet again that a determined soul accomplishes much.
It's Six o'clock somewhere
They grew up and loved long
Passages of time flew underneath
For those two who cared so much
One and the other were same
After a filling and fun dinner
They strolled down by the creek
That divided the farm
Familiar and deepening their admiration
Cool was water to feet
As he stumbled to a knee
Grasping chest to find breath
She knew it was the end of 40 years
It was six o'clock that night
Every year on that day
Shoes came off as she relished
Cleansing water on tired feet
At six o'clock
To say goodbye and relive the good
Future had other plans
She could not make her date
Early in morning
She went down to that stream
Barefoot and weeping
Dipping up to her knees
She said out loud
"It's six o'clock somewhere"
September 17, 2012
Background: A friend of mine had an idea to write on this line, "It's six o'clock somewhere." I thought about it for a little while and formed a vision. It took me about 15 minutes to write this. There is loss, and depending on how you interpret it, one can read some happiness there as well. One of the few completely fictitious ones I have ever written. I like the simplicity of this one as well as the deeper tones.
Quicksand Graveyard
Heavy burdens ruined by thistle
Thorns and doubt
My way home clouded
By illusions played in minds of
Those true and strong
Weeping can only secure
Water on the fingers
Bitter and salty only part
Of why I do not understand
Why pails do not spill over
Hide from all
Step on none
Lift chin to see
How eyes bleed for you
As shore becomes distant
Set rigger and sails
You'll be over the horizon
Before me as naked spirit
I amaze easily in your glory
Of all now part of me
Raise palms to feel light unseen
Wind fills sails of your desires
Mistrust not found
Aches of horrible agony
Lifted and bettered by you
Syllables cannot will not explain
Most foreign to you
To me and all
No pen will strike the sentence to
Show you chasms of love
For you
Bergs of ice melt rapidly
My tiny room can hold monstrous
Notions of hate hurt anxiety
This house and roof saves many from
Times they cannot or will not face
Graves of emptiness now
Filled with quicksand I promised
Never to cast again
Shallow… not so deep that one
Cannot escape
October 6, 2012
Background: Several inspirations mixed into this one. This is hard to explain; so let me know what you think. This may be one of my favorites too. It's difficult to pick my favorites as I just write and let it happen. Relating to some more than others seems to be typical for myself and others. If I were to literally interpret each line of these writings, this book would be huge. I write to invoke thought in others as well as myself. I write with thoughts and emotions, but it is up to the reader to determine meanings; relating to my words in your own way.
Don't let today be Goodbye
Innocent day presented
Going about your way
Smiles as always in my thoughts
Waking up to reality when it hits
Simple task at hand
Being ready to go on
Out and about to tend
Then it struck
And the world changed for many
Long nights by your side
First not smiling not responding
Time brought you back to us
In some fashion to unfold
Memories and love
Some bad times
Instantly dissolve
To this very moment when
Perhaps my daddy moves on
Never comes back
Strike sword and pike through
Hit bone and marrow
As that would be less painful
Than today
Don't let today be goodbye
As there is much more to share
To laugh about
To feel hugs of everlasting
Love
Not prepared and never was
For shining skies
To not touch our being
Together and yet alone
My shouts to Heaven are
For tonight and until
You return to me
To us
Family that has always
Shown you the way home
Just one more day
Don't let today be goodbye
October 11, 2012
Background: Life can change in an instant, and can shake the deepest of foundations. So many have lost parents and one close call that a friend recently experienced brought this on. This was written for a few people I know who have lost their fathers and at the same time, can be for mothers as well. You are stronger than you think. Weights of sorrow will lift one day. The sun, once dark and shy, will again comfort.
The Scare
As any other day
Normality was abound
Breakfast and slumber
Then you tried to walk
Stumbling with no balance
My plead to lie down
To figure it all out
Unheeded as you struggled
Outside as you begged to be
I took you in my arms
You and only you in my
Focus at that moment
Falling about you finally
Gave up to the point
Where I thought you may
Be taken away from me
Our trip to seek help
Passing others as standing still
As you lie down confused
My buddy won't leave me today
I swore it was not time
Not today
Just more time
Is all I asked
Tests and call later on provide
Comfort to your turmoil
A night you will stay
But tomorrow you'll be home
You're strong and will rebound
For now I wait idle hands pacing
In my mind of what is to be
Tomorrow only holds promise
And I ache to feel your touch
Warmth of your being
Again
Our days limited and hope
You've found love a puppy
Always dreams of
My words not understood
As you gaze into my eyes
Hurt may not fade<
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As fast as it should
When you leave me the final time
How simple to some
Ignore and know one day
You'll be at my side again
A simple dog
You are not
Some understand while many do not
Or refuse to
Emotion for a beloved friend
Barely begins to express
Just how much you are loved
Give me one more day
More if you can
I will know when it is your time
To move on
October 19, 2012
Background: Vestibular Syndrome is a scary condition to witness in a pet. When Casey had that afflict him, I may have over reacted and wrote this. It is hard not to, since he's been a part of my life for so many years. Years from now, I'll look back at this and recall this scare. Keep reading and you'll find one poignant story of why Casey has earned my eternal love and respect.
The House is Quiet
A few miles away you slumber
On a bed not yours
Imagining how your dreams unfold
Not to feel the dent as accustomed
Serious perhaps this wall we climb
Likely I know little but much
Little really matters except
That tonight this house is quiet
I turn up the music play the game
Dilute my thoughts down to elements
Of love, compassion and the wish
To bring you home again
This house is too quiet
No footsteps of you around
Yeah I miss them
Flurry and following are missing
Tonight
In this quiet house
October 19, 2012
Background: Casey had an episode later diagnosed as vestibular syndrome as discussed above. We came in after the morning depository of yesterday's food. He picked a spot to relax and within 30 minutes got up to walk and was so dizzy and stumbling so badly it astonished me. How could a happy, healthy dog decline so quickly? Any nerve condition can do that as I always knew, but did not know that about canines. Since he stayed with the vet that night, it was eerily quiet. I picked him up the next day and helped him during his recovery. This writing, like many, can apply to many situations.
The Pier
Crazy steps draw me toward ocean
Abandoned condemned for reason
Test foundation where I stand
No simple remedy why I sit and admire
Sunset not before me as gulls swarm wood
Lapping waves weather and storms
Take toll on this old pier
When will it give to take me beyond
How many tears of despair and joy
These old boards absorbed to keep secrets
Legs dangling over with roar of waves
Enlightens being of you and all
Bleached by loving light from above
Rebuild is not possible for dreams resurrect
Castles in sand innocently spoiled
Though beaten abused uneasy
This old pier keeps solid footing
Until one day oceans reclaim it
October 23, 2012
Background: This is written in a way to relate to many things and most of which really are not about me. Piers are well footed and designed to survive. They are not permanent though, and will wither away without intervention. When you walk on any pier, just know that others before you have likely shared good and bad times on that same spot. Few steps that we take and fewer views are genuinely unique. It will be interesting to hear feedback on this one.
Tonight
Tonight I feel isolated yet part of all
Long for most not read
This water I cannot tread
Behind whispers of the fall
October 27, 2012
Background: This was a culmination of being alone, desiring knowledge not gained, and tired of being stagnant, while knowing behind the waterfall is a realm yet to partake.
Why I Write
No poet in my head
Not much of anything
Days and evenings seem to concur
Why this is indeed part of me
Mending and coping
Not meant to be alone
As a curtain of dismay closes
You brush it away
Fear darkness or light
Rims bad now taste sweet
Head up through steam
Clouds mist vapor
Label it as you may
I write not only to share
One simple life of mine
Help others vision
We are alike
Emotions along the journey
To freedom
October 29, 2012
Background: Pretty evident here. This underlies the subtitle of this book. Once a person consumes the good and bad thoughts, the more I believe a world of light and fulfillment lay ahead. As stated earlier, if not writing, one needs to clear out thoughts whether bad or good to successfully move on. Holding it in is not a good or healthy strategy.
Recordings in My Head
Floods yesterday
Keep presenting
How things were hopeless
As this porch swing
Comforts
Setting suns on that swing
Take away bits of hurt
Each day I allow
Allowance is shallow
There is no stop button
To cease what I record
Bliss would drench
Them out of memory so strong
Tried all read all and still
Cannot absolve these
Recordings in my head
Asleep or awake offer little
Shelter from these thoughts
I cannot kill
Please and beg something
Understood not
Unseen
How these recordings
In my head
Erased and muted some day
October 29, 2012
Background: The title came from a discussion while the Internet amused me one night. A person said they could not sleep and needed to stop playing the recordings in their head. I know the feeling for sure. This was written shortly after.
Granite Me
Those times I feel a fool
A joker not
When it comes
Living in honesty
Slip my grasp
Now and again
From a rather weak post
On this hill
I see miles around
Where much good
May be done
To better not me
But you
Winds somewhat shattered
By glaciers of lore
Have passed
Disgust they do
For I am stronger now
Stronger but not immune
As it still stings and touches
Those dark places we know
And hate to visit
Loosen the grips on my soul
Hill is dwarfed by mountains
Of solid granite before
Yet I know we can overcome
Inch at a time
Clear the view is here
Feet in mud
Shake them off
Better your chances
Scaling granite burden
We face within
October 31, 2012
Background: As with most of my later writings, this is a combination of many things. Dump the past, which again, I find difficult to shed completely. A granite wall seems nifty, yet it would block off too much. There is too much beauty around to ignore.
Both Gone
November not a month
I remember in a good way
As my mom slipped
Away from me
The beauty of that picture
I'll always remember
And warm arms
Embrace me through the night
Darkness lingers
Though I have found love
Peace and family
You both watch over me
In ways not felt and not
Realized until later
Both are gone
You surround me despite
Not feeling you there
I know I know
When Heaven allows
You are there with me
To feed guide comfort
Protect me
You are both gone
My little heart now
Grows bigger and stronger
As simple time passes
Not to forget
But to love
Appreciate great times
Love from you will never fade
I know from here
Whispers in the rain
Are from both
Keep me strong
Focused on a way to
Heal for eternity
You know me
You know me
I'll get along fine
Even though
You're both gone
November 5, 2012
Background: I read a post from a woman who had lost both parents. It struck me and this was written in about 20 minutes. It was well received.
I Fear
It never ends
Scripts the scrolling
Of that permeated with truth
Holes in page sides
Corrupt thoughts of what
Is missed
Elementary illusions
That bliss promises
Thump and pattern a way
I don't want to go
I call out for knowledge
Task of reading to learn
Dismayed by others
Follow the stream and
Wonder if best path taken
I fear
I fear for others
Not myself
Stains on soil
Will be wiped away
And now I see
I vividly see
I fear
November 9, 2012
Background: This one started with an image of punched holes in a sheet of paper. When I was a kid, they were prominent; but not so much any longer. The thought of what those holes take away from a sheet of paper is the premise in a way. In this one, it comes down to if we punch out a few holes in our being, well, we aren't complete. I fear many of us, with good intentions, are not our full page. Those little paper punches may hold a few critical and telling segments of us. Take away just a bit from the whole page and there is still something missing.
Guard Me
How trickling sounds of water
Over stone in place
For all to amaze
How you could be there
By me every day
Years ago you disappeared
How I knew you those days
Reflect and absorb good
And not so much bad
As a mother you never ceased
To be there and everywhere
All at once
How you did it
I now learn
Beyond and exist they do not
For failing is human
In my soul and my very
Pillar of existence
You're still around
Passages of bitter time
Are less and sweeter now
In my way I reconcile
Know and love more
On this day this month
That year
No forgetting in my life
Though you've moved on
You guard me
Against all not pure
You guard me
November 9, 2012
Background: A combination of several elements. Reading the pages above, most will have an understanding of this. While pain occupies our past, one should know that those bad times may actually protect us. As long as we learn from times of hurt, we should be able to avoid much strife later on; keeping the past in mind but learning from it.
Before the Final Breath
Hold warm black sand
Crests of water land
Dreaming sipping life
No dunes though barren
Seems odd how contrails above
Mimic hollow parts
As they cut leave stains
Few will prosper
Collect grains which feed
Lungs heavy and not mine
Whisper you shall be heard
Before the final breath taken
Only few know
They really know
Giving up is not part of me
Horizons of sun not clouded
Any longer in this realm
Helping hands to lift up
Scratch and scar at first
Disappear once conceived
Laughing behind obscurity
Trees of mine sturdy
Yet frail at a moment's beckon
It's what they feed
Foot taps stir
Soils trapped in carpet
Innocent and unseen
Before the final breath
There will be healing
Understanding and peace
Pulse on veins of trust
Will be there and guide
Step around all unclear
Know and believe
Have your own faith
That all will be well
And accomplished
Before the final breath
November 21, 2012
Background: A synopsis of hundreds of things. Basically saying that before my last breath, I will live out what I never thought could come true. Before my final breath, I will take a ride in a fighter jet somehow. Writing this book was another item; and I actually completed it. This is completely different than the popular social phrase of “bucket list.”
The Night
No rushing water
Silence of still
Ringing ears is no
Comparison to reality
Stumble to comprehend
How turbidity adds
To the equation engraved in
Your head and dreams alone
Fortune not reality of shame
Speak what is mine and neglected
This vantage on a boulder
Midst of middle not trodden
Leaves trampled break loose
To form soil for those
On earth explored by few
Not alone on your Northward path
Tonight is now time
Streaming beautiful heavens